Monday, September 20, 2004

So sometimes I cant decide if I am living on another planet or if I have simply gone to hell...
The lizard was nothing compared to what I killed yesterday...If the Paraguayans (a) dont know its name in Spanish (only Guarani) and (b) THEY are afraid to go near it, you know its bad.

So I was raking my weekly 100 kilogram pile of leaves to burn when my 11 year old sister Noelia comes over and informs me that there is a snake in my kitchen. I didnt believe her because she wasnt hysterical. But then she screamed ¨Jenny! Tu gato esta jugando con la visboa!¨ So I went to look in my kitchen and lo and behold my cat was playing with what appeared to be a pretty large snake. So I did some screaming. I rescued my cat by luring him out with some food. And the snake thing appeared to be dead. So no one would help me and I started screaming in English how much I love Paraguay. I think something in me snapped. I grabbed a broom and (screaming) swept it out of my kitchen. Still screaming at it in English I grabbed a shovel and cut it into 3 pieces (and took photos of it too to show you all). Habia sido...not a snake. They call it a kuvuja I believe. An underground dwelling parasite essentially. A big fucking worm. With two heads, no tail, really long and FAT. Even after being chopped into three pieces it continued to move. But the chickens ate it. So now I dont have to look at it anymore. And apparently I might die before the year ends. They kept yelling at me not to kill it because its bad luck. I screamed that ¨es MALA SUERTE que esta en mi cocina!¨ But regardless I guess I should take advantage of the next three months and enjoy myself...I might not see January. Theres a likely possibility in my mind. This country is going to kill me.

So nerves shot I went on to fall really hard bruising my legs severely. I found two frogs (and lacked the energy to chase them so there they are still, one in my bathroom, one in my kitchen) and I killed two BIG poisonous spiders by my bed. All yesterday. Maybe thats why I woke up at 4.00 this morning and couldnt sleep anymore. That or the diahrrea.

PS. Going to Asuncion for a little vacation in the city Thursday through Saturday.

Oy vey, is it all getting to you my little dumpling? :) This summer, a HUGE big green bug (I'm talking the size of one or two hands, we don't have things like that here in the 'burbs, just deer) thing flew into our house through the front door and my dad RAN (and he's a big guy too) up the stairs screaming for my mom to come and kill it. Hope that makes you laugh :) Dick K. is scared of bugs.

Love, Jill
In Central America they still sell DDT. Just put a thin line of it aroung the perimiter inside the building. Kills everything in about a meter.

Good Luck!

Yeah Jenna, just spray the area with a little agent orange, it'll kill everything within the next few continents.
jill farted. a big one.
Between the parasite and Jill's dad I have officially wet my pants! (headed to the shower now) Your Gma says hi and "stay clear of the two headed smoking parasites". I vote you invest on some of that serious kill everything that moves bug repellent.
angela has a fungus problem. it concerns the foot region.
Well, if I do have this supposed "fungus problem," I got it from your bathroom. Dirt Bag.
what are you doing in my bathroom, mouthwash whore? and if you're getting fungus from my bathroom, then all your mouthwash is giving me gas. i'm farting in your chair now. i'm gonna go fart in your bed next.

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